It’s hard to imagine myself now, chatty, make up on, cooking, reading, going for walks on my own, shopping on my own. Before Christmas it as a very different story and this is my story.
I’d had depression before, the sort that hits you gradually and soon you are at home, very sad, getting up late, not motivated to do anything, feeling totally alone in a dark place with a dog, remember the black dog. My friends couldn’t understand why, a very happy family, a new granddaughter, a lovely home and another in Italy, enough money after years of hard work, mid 60’s and so much to look forward with all our travel plans.
So what did really happen, my dear old Dad suffered, I’d had it before and now I was in a very deep hole and no matter what anyone said to me I was going to stay there. What’s wrong with getting up up late? What’s wrong with watching hours of television? But it’s not you they say, you had such a zest for life, had so many people in your life, it just isn’t you.
Sadly it was me and the next year still me and so on until the end of last year. I had always been very interested in alternative therapies, I’d been a Yoga Teacher, not the sort that goes off to India for 4 weeks and then immediately begins to teach a class of 40. No, I had studied yoga, I taught it, lived it, slept it but that was the old you. Now I hear you all saying try acupuncture, it could work and so eventually I did. I LOVED it, the technique (I had been having it for years, but that was the old self!), the set up, not £45 a session but at a college, paying £18 and 3rd year students who are really wanting to make you feel well again, offer such hope and such positivity and after Christmas it worked!
So today, today in lockdown, I feel wonderful, I sleep well, I cook lovely food, the very healthy stuff with organic veggies just like in the old days. I like dressing up, I have binned much in my wardrobe and given so much to charities. I read, I garden, with the help of zoom we now do our Tai Chi 4 times a week with our teacher who is making sure we all keep well. All is sunny and warm, no darkness, no dog and no more in the hole.
Please be kind to yourselves, don’t get too low, talk to someone, talk to this charity that Niki has brought to life, it’s so so so hard, I understand that, don’t forget I HAVE BEEN THERE. Much love to you all.